hind sight : 2020

---

October… wasn’t it just March?!

The world is a different place than it was earlier this year.

Even without the pandemic my world has shifted and changed and doesn’t feel familiar anymore.

The combination of events is enough for even the best of us to struggle.

My world feels like it got a little smaller on so many fronts.

But you know what? I am still here. A little worse for wear, perhaps, but still here.

And that is something worth celebrating!

Thank you Bob Sala for honouring me with your lens.

And thank you more, for capturing me in MY cabin. This place felt like home.

So for that I am forever indebted to you, my friend.

Despite all the drama that 2020 saw unfold, I can still cherish the good that came from what once was.

The people that I’ve met. The friendships I’ve built. The knowledge I’ve gained. The opportunities I greeted.

For that, I am grateful. <3

xoxo

Jessica Rae

---

we all deserve to feel love and be loved

Be kind

xoxo

What to do when you have to #StayTheFuckHome

As a portrait photographer, who relies on working with fellow humans to create Art, it would seem that with the current situation of the world that we are shit outta luck on that front. No more ART?!!! Well, here is the thing with us artists - we are a creative bunch! When faced with a challenge we, more often than not, excel!

Leave it to my friend Teri Hofford Photography to do just that. What do we do when we cannot connect in person with our clients and muses? We turn to technology and make the best out of the situation at hand. I bring you - VIRTUAL PHOTO SESSIONS!

This pandemic we are currently facing with Covid-19 will not stop us!

It's a simple concept but quite the challenging feat!

Zoom, Skype, Facetime - as long as you and your subject have a web camera (be it on a phone or your desktop) you can make ART together!

Check out Teri's awesome tutorial on how to conduct these sessions, which tools are most ideal and how to have fun and get creative in during this unique time in our all our lives. https://bit.ly/3a47Qk6 - don't stress if money is tight, it's a mere $10 and it's worth 10x that in my opinion.

I've had the honour of photographing 3 of my friends for these Virtual Sessions with more on the horizon. It feels AH-MAZ-ING to create again! - not to mention how great it feels to connect and commiserate over video with people I love and miss.

xoxox

Ruby Roxx

Chelsea The Pale

Ashlee Marie

Vegas Boudoir Session and Workshops

Vegas Boudoir Session and Workshops

Every February in Vegas Photographers come from all over the world to take part in WPPI.  It stands for Wedding & Portrait Photographers International. Don't let the name deceive you though all genres of photographers take part. I've heard it said that it's the equivalent of spring break for photographers. So if you're going you should look into booking your own Vegas Boudoir Session.

vegas boudoir session

 This is a great time to meet up and network with your peers in the industry, but it is also a great time to hone your skills. One of the ways you can achieve this is to join one of the many workshops offered by many of the professionals who attend. Last year was Jessica's first workshop in Vegas and she is returning this year with a good friend of hers Aroha Mckaig.  Together they will be covering subjects such as maximizing your space. This will cover lighting, shooting, and setting up your space plus some portfolio building shoot out time. The second Day of the workshop will cover the topic of Mood & Emotion. In this class you will learn the art of creating images of both sexually suggestive and implied nature. You'll learn how to achieve the emotions to translate your own clients whether the are looking for a sensual or more sexualized style. Jessica's style lends to the more sensual side of the spectrum while Aroha enjoys pushing the boundaries to elude to more sexual undertones. Again this will end with a portfolio building shootout. This year they've booked a beautiful Air B&B for the workshop with plenty of space for shooting and learning.  Five lucky attendees will be able to upgrade to the VIP seats. These will include a place to stay at the Air B&B, meals while there, all the classes, and a small group mentoring session where you can pick Jessica and Aroha's brains while relaxing after supper. Workshops are a great place to start your time in Vegas, but there is so much more to do. Between the parties, shootouts, and the fact that it's Vegas you'll be busy the entire time. One of the attendees from last year took her experience with Jessica one step further and booked her own Vegas Boudoir Shoot with Jessica. This allowed to her to see Jessica shoot first hand and she walked away with some amazing images that she will treasure forever. I'll be posting her photos in another post soon to follow. Jessica's make up artist, Ashley of Ashley Paints Faces, wanted her own Vegas Boudoir Session and modelled for the last workshop. The following are some of her images from the workshop and her own session.Written by the Artist Jessica Rae team. xoxo 

For more information on the Workshop click here

To book your own session click here

Intimate Couple's Boudoir.

Intimate Couples Boudoir

Jessica and I have been together for almost 5 years now. In that time I have become a feminist. I’ve learned that feminism isn’t women against men, that is misandry.  (Thank you to Jessica for educating me on this) It’s about realizing that gender does not dictate what you are or are not qualified to do.

I realize that as a man, I personally, am not inherently bad or oppress women. Being a feminist, for me, means realizing that those jokes you don’t mean and are just supposed to be funny are not funny. It’s not funny to break another person down in the name of “just a joke”. Feminism is about equality, plain and simple. To me it’s about treating women with dignity and respect.  Jessica is my best friend and partner and I mean that in every sense of the word.

I also learned I have more in common with many of her female clients than I realized. For several years I have watched women come to her studio while I’m outside working in my shop. In almost every case I see the same thing. They show up, usually bundled up in more clothes than necessary for the weather, and kind of hunched in on themselves. It appears that what they are doing is just an experiment and they don’t expect to like and enjoy what’s about to happen because they think they could never look as good as the women they see in Jessica's photographs. In every case, where I have been around to see them come back out, I’ve seen a woman transformed. They have their shoulders back, they are smiling and they radiate confidence. It’s amazing to watch this experience from the outside and to see how, in just a couple hours, they learn to see themselves in a way they didn't before. 

When I met Jessica I was in the best shape of my life. I struggled with obesity, most of my life, and had worked hard to shed 100 lbs. But even at that point I would not take my shirt off in public. Like a lot of women I had been shamed into believing I was unattractive and fully believed it. Due to an injury I had to leave the gym and slowly I put the weight back on. I never gained it all back but I have gained enough that my insecurities were now mixed with a sense of shame. In Jessica's eyes the weight didn’t matter and she has asked me, more than once, to do a couples session with her. I have flat out refused for a long time but she has gently persisted. 

Yesterday after denying her again, she opened up a dialog about how I’m really no different from those women that walk by me overdressed and huddled in on themselves.  She assured me she wanted the photographs for us and wouldn’t share if I wasn’t comfortable. It occurred to me that I expect all these women, who walk passed me, to come out with a new outlook and that they all trust Jessica with something more personal than words can describe.

Jessica is my best friend and the love of my life so why couldn't I give her that same trust. I reluctantly agreed.I can honestly say that at first I felt very uncomfortable displaying my flaws for even just Jessica to see but it quickly became something else. The camera disappeared from my mind and it became about sharing something intimate and freeing with the woman I love.

I experience a lot of emotion when I look at the images she created of us and feel like they accurately show my love for her. Together we are perfectly imperfect and in the end it’s not about looking like a model. I trusted her with my biggest insecurities and she did not break that trust. I feel closer to her now because of the experience and even love the photographs so much that I want to share them with the world. I could believe I could be Overcoming self doubt with Intimate Couple's Boudoir. I would recommend that everyone should try this at least once. It’s not just for women or for men, it’s about celebrating yourself, or in my case my love.  -C

View fullsize

Intimate Couple's Boudoir

Your relationship deserves to be Celebrated.

ReDefining Beauty with The Beautiful Real - Cancer Diagnosis - Abbotsford Photographer

How do you define beauty?Now imagine you are stripped of your previous perceptions and notions of beauty...How Do you redefine beauty?I met Dana a couple of years ago at a women's networking event, she caught my attention the moment she walked into the room. She had a head full of the most gorgeous red curls I have ever seen and she carried herself with such grace and confidence. Now, I talk a lot! Honestly, if you have ever met me in person, you know I can ramble on and on and on ;) But when Dana spoke, I shut the fuck up and listened! We became friends on Facebook and that is how I came to find out about her cancer diagnosis.I knew I wanted to do something for this amazing woman, so I reached out to her to discuss doing a photo session, and what that would mean for her. The results of our collaboration are beyond anything I have  created to date. Not only did we create beautiful, sensual, emotive images but we also created a beautiful video to tell her story.Enough of my banter though, I'll let her continue the story from here.**This post contains images of tasteful nudityDana's journey to (re)Define Beauty...[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRj-fOpqLuI[/embed]  We learn very early what beauty is supposed look like and society has done a great job of making sure that there is little room for interpretation. Whether we realize it or not, as women we all measure ourselves up against something that we deem as being “more beautiful” than us–add an advanced cancer diagnosis and some women feel the need to become invisible because we are seen as damaged goods or less than by many people–mostly other women.  We [women] suffer from an epidemic of smallness. We spend years shrinking ourselves for fear that our wildness or haughtiness will be shamed. We will continue to starve in silence until we can create new stories with the power of naming our true selves.I was told by someone recently that I was dangerous. I asked why, and their response was, "because you don't depend on anyone for approval and you don’t care what anyone thinks–you just do you, cancer and all."  We [women] need to come to an understanding of what it means to be beautiful. Sexy photos aren’t about gratuitous nudity, it’s about feeding the soul– a new sense of identity. There is a complete stripping down that happens when cancer comes knocking asking the question: Who am I when I’m stripped down? When I lost most of my gorgeous hair, and acquired abdominal scars from surgery, I was devastated but it didn’t mean I needed hide, it meant I needed to redefine what beauty meant to me. Beauty is more than in the way you look, it’s how you hold yourself, the way you love yourself–and how you love others.  When cancer showed up in my life, it was self acceptance that saved me when all hell was breaking loose and my world turned upside down. I had to learn to love myself differently. The names others gave me didn’t hold me down–cancer will never steal my scream because every moment used to criticize ourselves, is a tragic loss. Beauty and sexy comes from the soul, and as far as I'm concerned, a beautiful soul is what you've got to worry about when you die.  Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your life and dreams every minute. 

xoxox

Photography and Video by: Artist Jessica Rae

Narrative and Muse: Dana O'Dell - The Beautiful Real

Hair and Makeup by: Ashley Paints Faces

Self Love - Domestic Violence and Abuse - Vancouver and Fraser Valley Photographer

What does  Domestic Violence look like to you?

Does it look like a bruise or a scar?

Did you know that there are numerous types of abuse, not just physical...

Domestic Violence Abuse Diagram

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer

I have struggled with whether or not to even make a post about this - as vague as it may be, because any energy I give the situation, I feel, only gives it more power. HOWEVER, I also believe that we cannot help each other in silence and that we must talk about it.It is extremely difficult to escape your abuser when you share children with them, as you cannot simply cut ties with them. They always look for ways to maintain their sense of control over you, no matter how slight.#MaybeHeDoesntHitMe  - have you seen this hashtag making its rounds on the interweb. 'Maybe He Doesn't Hit You' Twitter Hashtag Reminds Us That Intimate Partner Violence Isn't Always PhysicalWhen my ex sent a nasty email to me (not the first, and surely not the last), after a recent afternoon visit with our children, my heart broke. His words did not wound me in the way he had hoped, I'm sure, but it impacted me none the less. Did I take his insults personally? No. Rather my heart ached for our children. I cried because, a man like him, is their father. When I discussed with my children how their day was with their dad, they looked solemn. I find out that their father had gone on at length, insulting me, their mother, to our children.Children are comprised of two things.... their mother and their father. They share the DNA of both. So when you put down, insult or make light of one of their parents, you are in essence doing the same to said child. They take it personally, and why wouldn't they?! They not only love their parent, but they are a physical part of that parent.Rather than let his words burn me though, I have chosen to use it as fuel for my own fire.You only make me stronger.Self Love. Self Respect.xoxox Jessica RaePS: If you, or someone you know, believe you may be experiencing domestic abuse  I highly recommend THIS BOOK, by Lundy Bancroft.  If you are in immediate danger please call 911, contact your local women's shelter. <3Doing an intimate portrait session can help you to reconnect to yourself. Show you a fresh perspective. Embrace and love yourself"Never let your struggle become your identity" - Dana O'dell (The Beautiful Real)

"Words As Weapons"

I feel your knife as it goes right inCut to my core but I'm not bleedingAll that you say trying to make me smallWell, the bigger you get the harder you fallYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsYou (had) my heart but I lock it upThis burning flame has been burnt enoughMy window's cracked they can be replacedBut your arm will tire throwing stones my wayYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsI feel your knife as it goes right inYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsI'll shed no tears

-Birdy

The other side of the lens - My Personal Session with Jana Roller Boudoir

Last summer I took a road trip to visit fellow boudoir photographer Jana Roller up in Williams, BC. I found in her in a local photography group on Facebook and sent her a message about her amazing red hair and we have have been online friends ever since, haha. I was so excited to meet her!  She was just a lovely and genuine in person as she was online.We hung out at her studio for the day and photographed each other, it was sooo much! She even did my makeup for the session, talk about multi-talented! She submitted the images she took of me to Philosophie Boudoir Magazine (put out by AIBP - Association of International Boudoir Photographers) and they were accepted. She wrote a beautiful article which you can read below as well.This was my 2nd time having a boudoir session done for myself. The first time was almost 3 years ago, and was a very different experience than I had with Jana. The images she captured I felt were a better reflection of me, not just a pretty pose and picture. She broke down some of my own mental walls and barriers and even got to me to show a little vulnerability, which is quite the feat! I have been sitting on these images for a few months because I had so much I wanted to say but I always seem to be at a loss for words.  and yesterday I had another personal boudoir session done (blog post to come in the near future haha) so I knew it was time to share these with all of you now, even if I don't have all the words in mind.Honestly, the article Jana wrote pretty much sums up the day for me as well. I am proud to call Jana my friend and thank her immensely for this amazing opportunity. When I started 2015 one of my goals was to get published as a photographer, I never imaged I would be published, as well, as the subject matter! I do want to say this though... I am 35 years old, I have carried and given birth to three amazing little boys,  and my body foreign to me. I was petite most of my life and the last couple of years I have put on a significant amount of body weight. I don't recognize this shell but I decided it was time to embrace it, love it and reclaim it. You are always going to find an excuse not to do something so amazing, as an intimate portrait session for yourself. But in 5 - 10 - 20 years, you are going to look back on these images and pat yourself on the back and say, I did it! Look at me, I am an amazing human being! There is no perfect time like the present. Do your research and find a photographer that resonates with you and that you trust. You won't regret it! 

You can purchase a digital or pint copy of Philosophie Boudoir  Volume VI here