Heeling Society - Published Vancouver Photographer & Model

I had the privileged of meeting Chad last year and since then we have worked and collaborated together on a few different photo shoots. I also have the honour of calling him my friend. Every one of our sessions together holds a special place in my heart and this particular shoot definitely ranks in the top.We were honoured with securing cover on Issue 6 of Beauty Mark Magazine with this set and I couldn't be more proud. When I first read Chad's article, that was to accompany the images we took in Vancouver, BC of him showcasing his fabulous heels, it brought me to tears. Don't take my word for it though,read for yourself ...  My name is Chad Walters. And to self-locate, I am a 30 year-old, gender-fluid, gay-identified,European-Aboriginal Canadian man. I did my undergrad in social work at the University ofBritish Columbia and am currently making my way through graduate studies in the same field.I’m just some guy who wants to relax the rigid - and often oppressive - gender norms that runrampant in our world. I felt inspired to write, and so here I am.  I remember a sociology prof at university encouraging us to push back against and defy normsand social mores, if only to experience the awkward tension. He highlighted the discomfort thatis often felt when citizens do not follow the social “rules.” He used an example of someoneentering an elevator but not immediately facing the door, as would be expected, and insteadfacing the back wall and the other riders. It confuses people by opposing what is known to benormal. His teachings have stayed with me and I have since paid close attention to oursociety’s norms and expected ways of behaving. Holding this attention throughout my socialwork degree has provided me with a hyper-awareness of norms that are oppressive, and it isthese norms, particularly, that should be pushed back against… with vigour. Our society defines what is normal and abnormal when it comes to how we look and what wewear, and within this definition are strict gender boundaries, and god forbid we step beyond theborder. For example, only men should wear ties, only women should wear makeup, only menshould have short hair, only girls wear pink, only women should paint their nails, and, my leastfavourite, only women should wear heels. Unfortunately, there are plenty more of theseunnecessary “shoulds” within our worlds. I am not a fan of this word “should;” it suffocates me.Perhaps “should” shouldn’t exist.Fortunately - acknowledging our privilege - in today’s Canada we are beginning to honour andrespect that gender and sexual identity are not the strict binaries we once presumed, and,instead, that self-expression and self-presentation are more lax and fluid. More and morepeople are presenting themselves to the world in more liberal, exciting and creative counter-culture ways, myself included.  My journey to authenticity has been long, and every day I continue to sink more deeply intomyself. Owning and announcing my attraction to other men was a huge step towards becomingauthentic. Anyone who has struggled with and tackled their gender ad sexual identity has aclear understanding of how oppressive our society and the people within it can be. It is tough toexplore what feels right and authentic when doing so causes social discomfort and provokesnegative responses. However, social discomfort is often an impetus for change… and changeis good. It is time, again, for me to explore what feels right. I am writing today to share my experience of giving life to my desire to slap on some stilettosand head out into the public. I have occasionally seen images of men wearing heels and Ialways thought that it looked incredible. As someone who views the body as a canvass, onwhich I can be artistic and expressive, the thought of diversifying my wardrobe and appearancewith heels has always been alluring. I often thought, “women are so lucky… look at all of theseamazing shoes they can choose from. I want to be able to wear heels.” Let’s face it, theselection of shoes ascribed for men is more limited… bland, even. And who the hell says I can’twear heels? Society, with its death grip on what is and isn’t masculine.This past year I was drawn to a fundraiser for Foundation of Hope, a charity whose mandate isto assist LGBT refugees in their transition into Canada. The premise of the fundraiser was“walking a mile in heels is easier than a lifetime in the closet” - a way to bring attention to thetorment of growing up LGBT in an LGBT-persecuting country. This fundraiser spoke to twointerests of mine… LGBT refugees and stilettos! The shoe fit, so to speak. It was time to buysome heels… I suppose I needed that push, that justification.  I felt like a kid in a candy shop, as is often said, during my first trip to the shoe store. I instantlysaw the winning pair, neon with a 7-inch heel; I made the purchase. Naturally, I wanted to wearthe heels out of the store and so I walked out onto the street, feeling tall (for once) andconfident. I was surprisingly stable in those babies and walked with ease, mostly.Something unique happens to me when I put on a pair of heels. Firstly, I begin to feel sexier. Itis my belief that heels are intrinsically linked to women and her sexuality. It is not news thatmany men find heels sexy, and that men’s behaviour can be influenced by a woman in heels.Perhaps this is why most men cannot bear the thought of another man in heels… if heels arelinked to sexual attraction then a man seeing another man in a hot pair of heels will reallyconfuse him and challenge his whole idea of masculinity… “Wait, that kinda looks good. Am Igay?!” …probably not, no. Of course, there are boundless opportunities to dig into the blaringsymbolism of women walking through the world supported by teeny tiny phalluses - but that isfor an entirely different article. Collectively, we connect the word “sexy” to a woman in heels - itis written into our collective coding. It is for this reason, I believe, that I begin to feel sexier.That, and because I feel confident, and confidence is super sexy in and of itself. My confidence and self-esteem go through the roof when I am wearing heels; I feel like I cantake on the world. If you look at any strong, sexy and confident women in film, she is probablywearing heels… even while running away from dinosaurs as was the case in this year’s JurassicWorld. Part of this confidence may be connected to the height status factor - women who aretaller or the same height as men are often perceived as more assertive and powerful. Height =Power. Simultaneously, beyond my increase in height power, I feel the confidence that arisesfrom the basic awareness that I am pushing back against a nonsensical norm. I feel purposeand that purpose provides me with confidence to strut my stuff like no other - #werk. Stick it tothe man. Also, I feel happy when I am in heels. Why happiness? Because I am exploring new ways tobend gender, new fashions to spice up my appearance and new interactions with the socialworld around me. It is fun! Getting dressed up is always entertaining, whether for some specialoccasion or themed event… it is a blast to evoke new characteristics, and sexy stiletto sass justso happens to be the latest characteristic to wake within me. Furthermore, I am an activist atheart and stimulating social change is part of what brings me joy. Being counter-norm in ourmisogynistic and heteronormative society appeals to me and speaks to my passion, and anypassionate engagement is always fun. As I walk and dance around in 7-inch heels I amactivating something… conversations, a paradigm shift, new norms, etc. Beyond what it feels like, personally, I think it is appropriate to share some reactions with you,dear reader. One of the most surprising things about my heel experiences, both while shoppingand strolling, is how frequently I was called, “Girl.” Some of the comments were as follows (I’mrelying on your mental intonation and emphasis to make these comments come to life): “Work itGiiiiiirl!” - “You’re looking fab, girlfriend!” - “Guuuurl, you look so good!” This started to botherme. Why? Well, because I am not a girl. I am a man, I just happen to be wearing differentshoes. It fascinates me how a simple article of clothing became reason to re-ascribe my sex.Of course, “Girl” is just a word… but words make worlds. This, to me, was a blatantrepresentation of how gendered our world is, and, in turn, how restrictive and oppressive thatcan be. A woman is no less a woman for not wearing heels. A man is no less a man forwearing heels. In simplicity, the person is merely taller or shorter. On the sidewalk, and in the heart of the city, I walked past what I presumed to be a mother andher two daughters. As we passed each other I saw the mother smile and say, “girls, check outhis heels!” Little “wows” followed suit. It was positive and upbeat; there was acceptance. Itwasn’t a scoff or a shake of the head. Maybe those girls have never seen a man in heelsbefore, and maybe, just maybe, they now feel a tinge more confident to be bold themselves. Iwant to live in a world where difference is celebrated, and I believe that as we normalize genderfluidity the following generation is going to be so much more welcoming of the people who donot fit into tiny gender boxes. Trying on heels in stores is very interesting. In one store, a clerk ask if I wanted to try a pair inmy size - 10, p.s. It was truly a powerful moment for me. It was powerful because it was socasual and normal. It made it clear to me how much progress we have made as a society andhow fortunate I am to be living here. I could not leave the store without voicing my gratitude forher acceptance. Sometimes I can feel the looks and the stares, the chuckles and the respect. Ican see the daggers of the impatient husbands, perhaps daggers of jealousy over how stellarmy calves look in a great pair of stilettos - #ownit. Whatever the reaction, i view it as a goodreaction. It means something is happening, and I believe that it is a positive “something.”As I bring this to a close, and dream about a pair of heels I want to order from Australia, I feel itis important to leave you with a question: what have you always wanted to wear, and, what isstopping you? Go out there and throw your rock in the pond… it’s time to make ripples. Pushback.Chad WaltersVancouver, BC Get your own copy of Beauty Mark Magazine Issue 6