JOURNAL
I AM JESSICA RAE
Men + Boudoir
Boudoir and intimate portraiture isn’t just for women. It is for every body! Regardless how you identify, you deserve to celebrate and embrace your body, beauty and journey. My door is always open. I encourage you to reach out if you feel an intimate portrait session may be something that would help you to tell your story
Male Boudoir
Todd contacted the studio about doing some Male boudoir and explained that he's been on a journey to improve his physical fitness. Boudoir can be many different things. It's not always a pretty picture on a bed or in a tub. Those have their place, but this wasn't it. The vision for this session was easy, just some simple tasteful Fine Art Nudes.
Before the session took place Todd and I met up in person to discuss the ideas for the session. He left excited and when he returned the back bedroom was cleared out of the usual lifestyle set and we were left with studio lights and him. What happened next was ART.
What Todd thought of the experience with Fine Art Nudes
I am so thrilled to have come across Jessica to take photos of me. She is very supportive and understanding. She has a way of getting you to try to push the boundaries of what you think about yourself, your body, and what would make a great picture.
Jessica was able to coax out some poses during the photo shoot that I never would have thought of trying, and they are some of my favorites. She has a unique ability to create poses where you end up looking natural, yet stunning!
When I initially planned on a photo shoot with Jessica, my expectation was to get a few nice pictures to give to my wife as a personal gift. What Jessica created was art that I would be proud to display on the walls of my home for others to enjoy as well. I left her studio thinking wow! The pictures look so incredible people might not even recognize me!
Boudoir is for every BODY!
Something else I feel is worth mentioning in regards to this session is that Todd had reached out to a number of local photographers inquiring about a male boudoir and fine art nude session but was consistently turned away. They all replied with, "Sorry, we only work with women."
Boudoir and intimate portraiture isn't just for women. It is for every body! Regardless how you identify, you deserve to celebrate and embrace your body, beauty and journey. My door is always open. I encourage you to reach out if you feel an intimate portrait session may be something that would help you to tell your story.
xoxox
Jessica Rae
xoxo
Boudoir is for Every Woman
Boudoir is for every human.
From the time you walk into the studio until the moment you leave this experience is all about you. Your time will begin with professional hair and make up while we sit and get to know each other. You'll be pampered by the professional hair and make up artist while you sip on a Mimosa and relax.
When it’s all said and done you will agree boudoir is for everyone.
Boudoir is for Every Woman
Everyone comes with their own reasons why they want to do a Intimate lifestyle boudoir session. T wasn't much different from a lot of the reasons I hear. It was initially just a gift for her husband, but as the session progressed she realized it was really more for her. My time with T was a lot of fun. We laughed and talked as the session went on and I watched what little nerves she had at the beginning melt away. In her own words she is a Zero F's kind of person. I'm a firm believer that boudoir is for every woman and T was no exception.
I asked her a few questions after her boudoir session, about her time in my studio, and will share a couple of her responses with you.
Q: Did anything change about the way you see your own beauty / sexuality / sensuality / body confidence as a result of this session?
A: You know what, yes. I think we are all our own worst critics. To see examples in studio of past sessions I realized it's a lot easier to appreciate the beauty in other people flaws and all. I need to look at myself with the same appreciation.
Q: How did the session make you feel?
A: Like a pretty pretty princess just kidding, hot AF. (This made me laugh)
Boudoir isn't just taking pretty pictures. It's about the entire experience, connecting with each person, and creating an environment where they can open up and see themselves for the amazing person they are. Every individual has a different motivation for booking a boudoir session. Whether it's a gift for a partner, a celebration of a milestone, or even just because they want to do something for themselves. If it's this or something else the goal is to make it the most empowering experience possible.
Just remember Boudoir is for every human. From the time you walk into the studio until the moment you leave this experience is all about you. Your time will begin with professional hair and make up while we sit and get to know each other. You'll be pampered by the professional hair and make up artist while you sip on a Mimosa and relax. During the actual shoot you will move around the studio as you are guided through different sets and poses and you will be coached to make it look just right. It's expected that most people will feel unsure in the beginning, as this is normal for almost everyone, but rest assured it gets easier as you go. A couple weeks later you will return to view all of your images and make your product selections. You will again get to sit and relax with a drink and some treats as you relive your experience through viewing the images. When you leave you will agree boudoir is for everyone. Hair and Make Up provided by Ashley Paints faces
Check out similar stories
Photography Mentoring
“She knows her shit!
You can tell she absolutely adores what she does and she has a love for showing women how beautiful they are. Being a photographer myself, I should know how to pose - but being in front of the camera is completely different and nerve wracking to be honest. But Jessica was a rock star in helping me feel comfortable and relaxed and she made me feel so good in my skin. “
Photography Mentoring
I first met Michelle back in 2010 when I joined Helping Hearts, a non-profit photography program she co-founded. We lost touch over the years but she recently reached out to me on facebook and asked if I would be open to Photography Mentoring, as she had recently taken up interest in photographing boudoir. Quite the divergence from the newborn photographer I had known her for over the years!
When I found out she was staying in town for a few days I invited her to come by my studio for a quick in-person mentoring session. Well this quickly unfolded into an impromptu photo session! haha It is always such a pleasure and a honour to get to work with other photographers. Below is what Michelle had to say about her experience with me and her Photography Mentoring :
"Let me start off by saying Jessica is amazing. She knows her shit! You can tell she absolutely adores what she does and she has a love for showing women how beautiful they are. Being a photographer myself, I should know how to pose - but being in front of the camera is completely different and nerve wracking to be honest. But Jessica was a rock star in helping me feel comfortable and relaxed and she made me feel so good in my skin. I’ve had two children and like most women, I am uncomfortable in the skin I’ve been left with. But Jessica helped me to embrace my body and love it for what it is. To feel sexy and empowered in my skin. She took the time to talk to me throughout the session, reminding me what to do with my arms, how to pose my legs, where to look and what to do with my body. I walked away from our session with such confidence - I was on a total high! Thank you Jessica! My experience with you was so fantastic!!! " - Michelle
"She took the time to talk to me throughout the session, reminding me what to do with my arms, how to pose my legs, where to look and what to do with my body. "
"I’ve had two children and like most women, I am uncomfortable in the skin I’ve been left with. But Jessica helped me to embrace my body and love it for what it is."
Ovarian Issues and Self Worth
"What is your first thought when it comes to boudoir? Yes it can mean wearing fancy lingerie , but it also means celebrating your body. After getting photographed I feel on top of the world . My confidence is through the roof, which for most women , we struggle with feeling sexy. Being a woman who has fought ovarian issues for 3 years, I always have issues seeing my stomach. Knowing where my scars are and seeing the bloating that it has caused I started to hate myself. Then I stepped in front of the lens and it changed everything. I realized that beauty is within, and you see it in every photo Jessica captures. She takes the woman and reminds her of that goddess flame inside you. I don't have to associate Ovarian Issues and Self Worth " -D.
Thank you D for being open and willing to share your story with the world. It is brave woman like you who pave the way for the rest of us.Every woman has a different reason for coming in for a session. What is your reason?
xoxoxox Jessica RaeHair and Makeup provided by Ashley Paints Faces
Ovarian Issues and Self Worth
Ovarian Issues and Self Worth
Abbotsford Maternity Photographer - Daily Inspiration
“I'll love you forever,I'll like you for always,As long as I'm living,my baby you'll be.”
Smile Pretty or...?!! - Greater Vancouver Boudoir Photography - Daily Inspiration
I often get asked: "What should I do, should I smile? Am I suppose to keep a serious face?"An intimate portrait session is all about YOU. I want to capture your personality. I want you to feel comfortable being yourself, whatever that might be!Are you serious? Are you bubbly? Are you conservative? Do you like to push boundaries?It's all about you, so BRING IT!
Daily Inspiration - Williams Lake Intimate Portrait Photography
"As women, we're nurturers by nature. We want to make sure everyone is happy. That's a good thing, but we also have to put ourselves on that happiness list." - Victoria Osteen 
Giving Thanks - Empowered Photography - Daily Inspiration
“Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life.You are blessed”― Pablo I have much to be thankful for myself. Family - Friends - amazing clients<3 Beauties like Teri Hofford Photography that grace my studio and my life with their amazing spirit <3
Birthday Surprise - Abbotsford Boudoir Photographer
Ms. N came in to create an unforgettable birthday gift for her husband, but I think she would agree it was just as much a gift for herself.Ms. N had this to say about her session:I didn't know what to expect in the full scale of things. But I think it went perfect for what I was looking for. It made me feel beautiful.My favourite part of the experience was seeing the images, to see what I looked like in that element was pretty amazing.Jessica!! You are an amazing woman, your work is fantastic. I am so happy that I got to spend that time with you.Any words of advice for women who are thinking about booking a boudoir session?Breath and enjoy every moment. 
Body Form - Vancouver Fine Art Photographer
High heels, lingerie, pearl necklaces, men's shirts. What are some of the stereo types when you think of boudoir photography?When women contact me to book their sessions, these are some of their top concerns - what to wear and what about those accessories!Why not forget them all. Forget your preconceived ideas of what boudoir is.Strip it down to its core - literally. Go nude!Simple - Minimalist - Sexy - Real - Raw, Authentic - Intimate - Bold - Shameless **this post contains nudity 
Heeling Society - Published Vancouver Photographer & Model
I had the privileged of meeting Chad last year and since then we have worked and collaborated together on a few different photo shoots. I also have the honour of calling him my friend. Every one of our sessions together holds a special place in my heart and this particular shoot definitely ranks in the top.We were honoured with securing cover on Issue 6 of Beauty Mark Magazine with this set and I couldn't be more proud. When I first read Chad's article, that was to accompany the images we took in Vancouver, BC of him showcasing his fabulous heels, it brought me to tears. Don't take my word for it though,read for yourself ... My name is Chad Walters. And to self-locate, I am a 30 year-old, gender-fluid, gay-identified,European-Aboriginal Canadian man. I did my undergrad in social work at the University ofBritish Columbia and am currently making my way through graduate studies in the same field.I’m just some guy who wants to relax the rigid - and often oppressive - gender norms that runrampant in our world. I felt inspired to write, and so here I am. 
I remember a sociology prof at university encouraging us to push back against and defy normsand social mores, if only to experience the awkward tension. He highlighted the discomfort thatis often felt when citizens do not follow the social “rules.” He used an example of someoneentering an elevator but not immediately facing the door, as would be expected, and insteadfacing the back wall and the other riders. It confuses people by opposing what is known to benormal. His teachings have stayed with me and I have since paid close attention to oursociety’s norms and expected ways of behaving. Holding this attention throughout my socialwork degree has provided me with a hyper-awareness of norms that are oppressive, and it isthese norms, particularly, that should be pushed back against… with vigour.
Our society defines what is normal and abnormal when it comes to how we look and what wewear, and within this definition are strict gender boundaries, and god forbid we step beyond theborder. For example, only men should wear ties, only women should wear makeup, only menshould have short hair, only girls wear pink, only women should paint their nails, and, my leastfavourite, only women should wear heels. Unfortunately, there are plenty more of theseunnecessary “shoulds” within our worlds. I am not a fan of this word “should;” it suffocates me.Perhaps “should” shouldn’t exist.Fortunately - acknowledging our privilege - in today’s Canada we are beginning to honour andrespect that gender and sexual identity are not the strict binaries we once presumed, and,instead, that self-expression and self-presentation are more lax and fluid. More and morepeople are presenting themselves to the world in more liberal, exciting and creative counter-culture ways, myself included. 
My journey to authenticity has been long, and every day I continue to sink more deeply intomyself. Owning and announcing my attraction to other men was a huge step towards becomingauthentic. Anyone who has struggled with and tackled their gender ad sexual identity has aclear understanding of how oppressive our society and the people within it can be. It is tough toexplore what feels right and authentic when doing so causes social discomfort and provokesnegative responses. However, social discomfort is often an impetus for change… and changeis good. It is time, again, for me to explore what feels right.
I am writing today to share my experience of giving life to my desire to slap on some stilettosand head out into the public. I have occasionally seen images of men wearing heels and Ialways thought that it looked incredible. As someone who views the body as a canvass, onwhich I can be artistic and expressive, the thought of diversifying my wardrobe and appearancewith heels has always been alluring. I often thought, “women are so lucky… look at all of theseamazing shoes they can choose from. I want to be able to wear heels.” Let’s face it, theselection of shoes ascribed for men is more limited… bland, even. And who the hell says I can’twear heels? Society, with its death grip on what is and isn’t masculine.This past year I was drawn to a fundraiser for Foundation of Hope, a charity whose mandate isto assist LGBT refugees in their transition into Canada. The premise of the fundraiser was“walking a mile in heels is easier than a lifetime in the closet” - a way to bring attention to thetorment of growing up LGBT in an LGBT-persecuting country. This fundraiser spoke to twointerests of mine… LGBT refugees and stilettos! The shoe fit, so to speak. It was time to buysome heels… I suppose I needed that push, that justification. 
I felt like a kid in a candy shop, as is often said, during my first trip to the shoe store. I instantlysaw the winning pair, neon with a 7-inch heel; I made the purchase. Naturally, I wanted to wearthe heels out of the store and so I walked out onto the street, feeling tall (for once) andconfident. I was surprisingly stable in those babies and walked with ease, mostly.Something unique happens to me when I put on a pair of heels. Firstly, I begin to feel sexier. Itis my belief that heels are intrinsically linked to women and her sexuality. It is not news thatmany men find heels sexy, and that men’s behaviour can be influenced by a woman in heels.Perhaps this is why most men cannot bear the thought of another man in heels… if heels arelinked to sexual attraction then a man seeing another man in a hot pair of heels will reallyconfuse him and challenge his whole idea of masculinity… “Wait, that kinda looks good. Am Igay?!” …probably not, no. Of course, there are boundless opportunities to dig into the blaringsymbolism of women walking through the world supported by teeny tiny phalluses - but that isfor an entirely different article. Collectively, we connect the word “sexy” to a woman in heels - itis written into our collective coding. It is for this reason, I believe, that I begin to feel sexier.That, and because I feel confident, and confidence is super sexy in and of itself.
My confidence and self-esteem go through the roof when I am wearing heels; I feel like I cantake on the world. If you look at any strong, sexy and confident women in film, she is probablywearing heels… even while running away from dinosaurs as was the case in this year’s JurassicWorld. Part of this confidence may be connected to the height status factor - women who aretaller or the same height as men are often perceived as more assertive and powerful. Height =Power. Simultaneously, beyond my increase in height power, I feel the confidence that arisesfrom the basic awareness that I am pushing back against a nonsensical norm. I feel purposeand that purpose provides me with confidence to strut my stuff like no other - #werk. Stick it tothe man.
Also, I feel happy when I am in heels. Why happiness? Because I am exploring new ways tobend gender, new fashions to spice up my appearance and new interactions with the socialworld around me. It is fun! Getting dressed up is always entertaining, whether for some specialoccasion or themed event… it is a blast to evoke new characteristics, and sexy stiletto sass justso happens to be the latest characteristic to wake within me. Furthermore, I am an activist atheart and stimulating social change is part of what brings me joy. Being counter-norm in ourmisogynistic and heteronormative society appeals to me and speaks to my passion, and anypassionate engagement is always fun. As I walk and dance around in 7-inch heels I amactivating something… conversations, a paradigm shift, new norms, etc. 
Beyond what it feels like, personally, I think it is appropriate to share some reactions with you,dear reader. One of the most surprising things about my heel experiences, both while shoppingand strolling, is how frequently I was called, “Girl.” Some of the comments were as follows (I’mrelying on your mental intonation and emphasis to make these comments come to life): “Work itGiiiiiirl!” - “You’re looking fab, girlfriend!” - “Guuuurl, you look so good!” This started to botherme. Why? Well, because I am not a girl. I am a man, I just happen to be wearing differentshoes. It fascinates me how a simple article of clothing became reason to re-ascribe my sex.Of course, “Girl” is just a word… but words make worlds. This, to me, was a blatantrepresentation of how gendered our world is, and, in turn, how restrictive and oppressive thatcan be. A woman is no less a woman for not wearing heels. A man is no less a man forwearing heels. In simplicity, the person is merely taller or shorter.
On the sidewalk, and in the heart of the city, I walked past what I presumed to be a mother andher two daughters. As we passed each other I saw the mother smile and say, “girls, check outhis heels!” Little “wows” followed suit. It was positive and upbeat; there was acceptance. Itwasn’t a scoff or a shake of the head. Maybe those girls have never seen a man in heelsbefore, and maybe, just maybe, they now feel a tinge more confident to be bold themselves. Iwant to live in a world where difference is celebrated, and I believe that as we normalize genderfluidity the following generation is going to be so much more welcoming of the people who donot fit into tiny gender boxes.
Trying on heels in stores is very interesting. In one store, a clerk ask if I wanted to try a pair inmy size - 10, p.s. It was truly a powerful moment for me. It was powerful because it was socasual and normal. It made it clear to me how much progress we have made as a society andhow fortunate I am to be living here. I could not leave the store without voicing my gratitude forher acceptance. Sometimes I can feel the looks and the stares, the chuckles and the respect. Ican see the daggers of the impatient husbands, perhaps daggers of jealousy over how stellarmy calves look in a great pair of stilettos - #ownit. Whatever the reaction, i view it as a goodreaction. It means something is happening, and I believe that it is a positive “something.”As I bring this to a close, and dream about a pair of heels I want to order from Australia, I feel itis important to leave you with a question: what have you always wanted to wear, and, what isstopping you? Go out there and throw your rock in the pond… it’s time to make ripples. Pushback.Chad WaltersVancouver, BC Get your own copy of Beauty Mark Magazine Issue 6
Because TuTu's - Maple Ridge Pitt Meadows Boudoir Photographer - Daily Inspiration
Because Tutu's...I love getting my hair and makeup artist in front of my lens. It helps them to understand and empathize with my clients what their experience is like. Ashley Paints Faces was so much fun to work with, I just LOVE her tutu!!!
Self Love - Domestic Violence and Abuse - Vancouver and Fraser Valley Photographer
What does Domestic Violence look like to you?
Does it look like a bruise or a scar?
Did you know that there are numerous types of abuse, not just physical...
Domestic Violence Abuse Diagram
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
Self Love - Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness - Artist Jessica Rae Vancouver Boudoir Photographer
I have struggled with whether or not to even make a post about this - as vague as it may be, because any energy I give the situation, I feel, only gives it more power. HOWEVER, I also believe that we cannot help each other in silence and that we must talk about it.It is extremely difficult to escape your abuser when you share children with them, as you cannot simply cut ties with them. They always look for ways to maintain their sense of control over you, no matter how slight.#MaybeHeDoesntHitMe - have you seen this hashtag making its rounds on the interweb. 'Maybe He Doesn't Hit You' Twitter Hashtag Reminds Us That Intimate Partner Violence Isn't Always PhysicalWhen my ex sent a nasty email to me (not the first, and surely not the last), after a recent afternoon visit with our children, my heart broke. His words did not wound me in the way he had hoped, I'm sure, but it impacted me none the less. Did I take his insults personally? No. Rather my heart ached for our children. I cried because, a man like him, is their father. When I discussed with my children how their day was with their dad, they looked solemn. I find out that their father had gone on at length, insulting me, their mother, to our children.Children are comprised of two things.... their mother and their father. They share the DNA of both. So when you put down, insult or make light of one of their parents, you are in essence doing the same to said child. They take it personally, and why wouldn't they?! They not only love their parent, but they are a physical part of that parent.Rather than let his words burn me though, I have chosen to use it as fuel for my own fire.You only make me stronger.Self Love. Self Respect.xoxox Jessica RaePS: If you, or someone you know, believe you may be experiencing domestic abuse I highly recommend THIS BOOK, by Lundy Bancroft. If you are in immediate danger please call 911, contact your local women's shelter. <3Doing an intimate portrait session can help you to reconnect to yourself. Show you a fresh perspective. Embrace and love yourself"Never let your struggle become your identity" - Dana O'dell (The Beautiful Real)
"Words As Weapons"
I feel your knife as it goes right inCut to my core but I'm not bleedingAll that you say trying to make me smallWell, the bigger you get the harder you fallYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsYou (had) my heart but I lock it upThis burning flame has been burnt enoughMy window's cracked they can be replacedBut your arm will tire throwing stones my wayYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsI feel your knife as it goes right inYou use your words as a weapon dearBut your blades don't hurt when you have no fearYou think that you're deep under my skinYou're trying to keep me sufferingIf you use your words as a weaponThen as a weapon, I'll shed no tearsI'll shed no tears
-Birdy
Abbotsford Boudoir Photography - Daily Inspiration
“They say to never look back.But sometimes I do.It’s gratifying to see how far I’ve come.”― Richelle E. Goodrich
Hair and Makeup by: Master Stylist Kat
Curvaceous Plus Size Boudoir Photography - Greater Vancouver and Fraser Valley Photographer - Daily Inspiration
"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologeticlly herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty." - Steve Marabolixoxox Artist Jessica Rae
Plus Size Boudoir - Fraser Valley and Vancouver Area Intimate Portrait Photographer - Daily Inspiration
Boudoir is for every woman!Forget all your insecurities. Every woman that steps before my lens has perceived flaws and imperfections. I am here to help guide you, direct you and pose you to flatter your body type.Confidence is the most beautiful thing you will ever wear <3xoxox Artist Jessica Rae 
Ridge Meadows Boudoir Photographer - BookWorm Beauty - Daily Inspiration
“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” — Joyce Carol Oates
Hair and Makeup: Amaris Beauty
Sensual Portrait - Greater Vancouver Area Boudoir Photographer - Daily Inspiration
“Lingerie is not about seducing men, its about embracing womanhood” -Dita Von Teese
Plus size Boudoir - Fraser Valley Photographer - Daily Inspiration
"I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them." - Mae West
Nothing is Concrete - Beauty Mark Magazine
Unplanned shoots are often the best...I was wanting to try out a friends studio space in Vancouver's west end so I invited Renee to come out and pose me. I also was interested in working with a man in a boudoir like setting, as I hadn't before, so I invited Chad Walters to join us. It was never my intention to have the two pose and model together but I am so thrilled that we did as the results and the story line that came through this collaboration really hit a mark.Chad took it upon himself to write an amazing piece about sexuality, that got picked up and published in Beauty Mark Magazine, which is included below.You can purchase a digital or hardcopy of this issue here: http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/1015324----------------------NOTHING IS CONCRETE...It is my experience that many folks come to the conclusion that others are either “gay” or “straight” - while the “bisexual” folks either get honoured as a third category or tagged as “confused.” What is this drive we have to guess and assume other peoples’ sexual orientation? Is it that easily categorized? The human experience of interpersonal attraction, orientation or sexual preference, however you wish to articulate it, is far too complex to merely answer “yes.” It is in our nature as humans to label, divide, separate and categorize - it adds a helpful structure to our world. Putting everything into a cute little box that can be neatly stacked has its advantages, surely; however, this obsessive inclination to pack complex human sexual preferences into two (maybe three) tiny boxes is incredibly imprisoning. 
I think that it is easy to confuse identity and attraction. Just because I identify as gay does not mean that I cannot be attracted to women - it just means that I identify as gay. Let’s just leave identity on the sidelines for right now and focus on the experience of attraction, that natural pull towards another human being. My body is wired to send signals and it accomplishes this through inputs of touch, scent, sight, and so on. Regardless of how I psychologically identify with any one group, my body will always do its job. One of the many invasive and personal questions I often get asked by others is, “Have you or would you ever have sex with a woman?” After making a point to inquire whether that person asks everyone such personal and inappropriate questions I say, “Well, I do not feel 100% gay.” This often confuses people. See, I view sexual attraction as a scale - a sliding scale. As a baseline, I often self-locate at 95% on the gay scale, knowing that, if the stars aligned just right, it is always possible to have a “run-in” with the big V. Yes, 95% is quite high and the reason why I am not at 100% is that I have met a few women who have shifted my marker.
My marker definitely shifted during a recent photoshoot with a female model. Unintentionally, in front of the lens, a story unfolded between her and me. I have never modeled with a woman before but naturally, and as if magically, it soon became an intimate story of lust and longing where she and I were wrapped up in mutual attraction. Divided by a pane of glass we were left wanting for each other and, as the storyline progressed, we found ourselves posing with one another on a bed on set. We got close and cozy and allowed ourselves to enliven the role of a man and a woman in the fuels of passion. It was beautiful. 
To be entirely frank, this woman is stunning. While she straddled me, in her light blue lingerie, I became increasingly aware that I was only wearing briefs… “what if…?” I thought to myself, “this is incredibly sexy” – as I chuckled that my older brother would surely find it amusing that his “gay brother” was in this situation. Because I am human, with senses, I could feel her hair and skin, hear her, see her, and pick up her pheromones… my neurones and synapses were firing beyond my control. It was a professional and mature photoshoot, but because it was at the same time intimate and sensual I left contemplating my place on the sexual attraction scale.Nothing is concrete.
And of course, their solo sets with me from that same day...
